Representatives of the major airlines today started a week-long annual conference, the purpose of which is not known but due to the secrecy probably involves the stuff of conspiracy theorists’ wet dreams.
The WAN and K Centre’s senior correspondent was however able to infiltrate one of the panel discussions, entitled “Chemtrails: increasing efficiency and effectiveness”. One of the more popular suggestions tabled involved tapping into the onboard reserves of unutilised mind-bending chemicals, usually dispersed over unsuspecting communities as beautiful chemtrails, in specific situations such as dealing with unruly passengers. Comments included:
– why divert the plane and ruin the trip for the remaining passengers, when it can be dealt with there and then?
– it can be added to the unruly passenger’s drink, as they would probably be raging alcoholics anyway
– yes but what if they have that date rape drug detecting nail polish and it’s detected?
– well go ahead and test it, see if it reacts. Most unruly pax are probably male.
– why limit ourselves to unruly pax? Why not spray ’em all? We’re already doing the whole-
– easy there Jim, I mean, Compadre.
Editor’s note: after this article was submitted, our correspondent was taken ill and is not available for further comment.
Image credit: Michael Salisbury via Flickr