IATA Authorises Airlines’ Use of Force Against Drones

IATA Authorises Airlines’ Use of Force Against Drones

The war for the skies just stepped up a notch on Thursday, as the International Air Transport Association (IATA) voted unanimously to allow airlines to use military systems to counter the threat to aircraft posed by drones.

“The technology is already available,” said Patrice Guy, Chief PR Guy for IATA, “and we’ll be giving members good volume discounts from preferred weapons suppliers.” Mr. Guy added that only high-tech laser-based systems providing high accuracy with minimal collateral damage will be used. However some airlines would also be deploying off-duty ground handling staff armed with high powered rifles “for a more holistic approach to the problem.”

Airlines worldwide seemed at a loss on how to respond to the growing threat from drones, with many industry sources calling attempts by the FAA and its counterparts to regulate drone use “futile” and “as useful to averting disaster as dousing yourself in a bucket of cold water to help fight a disease.”

Passengers seemed to welcome the initiative, with 91% of respondents of a poll taken in downtown Glasgow approving “any measure that would reassure the travelling public of airlines’ commitment to safety, irrespective of its actual efficiency.”

“This is nuts,” said John Deer, who travelled by air once in his life to go to a poker championship but lost everything in the first match, “but it just might work. Them you ‘aye veese are a darnmed nuisance.”

In totally unrelated news, a group representing UAV manufacturers was seen booking a visit to the Albanian Military Exhibition, to be held late in October in Tirana.