In-seat COVID testing method modelled after iron maiden torture device

In-seat COVID testing method modelled after iron maiden torture device

Long-haul travellers will now have covid PCR tests taken and processed during their flight thanks to a remarkable effort combining three distinct fields: aviation, medicine, and history.

Spearheaded* by aircraft manufacturer Airbus, the initiative will have each passenger seat fitted with a full-head helmet that autonomously and automatically administers the test. An in-flight laboratory then processes the swabs at the rate of 1 hour per 100 swabs, as per the manufacturer’s claims.

The system is yet to be approved by EASA and other aviation safety authorities, but with the spike* in cases recently there is little doubt that approval will be granted quickly.

Not everyone was happy with the development though. Iron Maiden (the band) frontman Bruce Dickinson* was reported as being furious that there was another unlikely combo featuring aviation and a torture device, and threats of legal action were uttered.

Other critics and armchair experts were quick to point out that the iron maiden wasn’t really used in medieval times, and that it was fabricated as a faux-relic to attract fee paying visitors to budding museums in the 19th century. Boeing was quick to dismiss these claims, saying that aviation innovation does not need to be bogged down by this level of attention to detail.

* snicker